Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
