He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
