Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
