Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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