Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
