See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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