I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
