id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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