Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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