Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Randomize
