he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
