You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
