why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Nobody cheats on THIS.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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