areolas are like halos for boobs.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize