Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
