I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
