dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize