i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
