you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I am mentally ready for anal.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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