Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
