Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
