So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
did you just send me my own nude
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
