I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
