I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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