I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
