Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
