so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
