Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
