Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
