Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
