ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize