can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
