guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
