It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
