I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
