Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I wish i was in the wii world.
what day is it and did you see me today?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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