Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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