It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
