I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
