Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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