i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize