in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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