He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
