They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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