i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
