omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
