I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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