I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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