Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
