take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
