So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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