i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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