You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
