i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
