Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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