Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
