It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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