i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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