the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
