So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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