so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
