TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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