Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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