is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
