don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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