she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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