I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Nicole vs. Life
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize