question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
